Words

PART 1
With parting words stating, "It is so necessary though" A part of me wanders, was it really so terrible? This is my pride. The roots stretch deep. I know I was expecting her to be the one part of good in my life. My rescue. So I will start there. "God is my refuge, a very present help in time of need." When did I make Rachel my God, when was this okay? How do I remove her as my idol? How do I recenter on God?

PART 2
I have always been proud that I have been mailable, able to change to meet the needs of others. But what happens when someone asks Who I am? Independent of any situation, or people. Apart from the desire to please or impress. Who am I?

PART 3
"Don't try to over-think or over-spiritualize this." the final thing I realize is that I do over think, I don't understand what the over spiritualize part means. So I won't focus on that right now. So part 3 means stripping away the unnecessary thoughts stream steadily throughout the day. How do I simply live here now, without playing over old conversations, or thinking up new situations. I feel like I have manufactured a version of myself to live, while I am thinking up new scenarios. What does it mean to be in this moment, now.

There is probably much more that could be rooted out, but I think this is a good place to start.